self-awareness helper 307: looking upstream

Would you rather be happy or unhappy?

In rather unglamorous terms, happiness involves the absence of malice, the absence of hatred and hostility. Happiness involves the state of being connected in loving, non-hostile ways. It does not mean that everyone’s got to be your best friend. Sometimes it’s better to love from a distance.

Where does the opposite of that exist in you right here and now? Leave behind the headlines for the moment. Where is malice, hatred, and hostility alive and well in you, in big, middling, or small ways?

There you have the seeds of unhappiness, the plants of unhappiness in full blossom, bearing their fruits—ugly, drooling with fangs, seeking to tear flesh from something to satisfy its appetite.

From here disease is only the logical conclusion.

So look upstream from symptoms dear friends. Be willing to remember the truth of what is. It can never harm us to be in truth. The harm comes from resisting.

There are tears to be shed before the rainbow appears. Let it come. Forgive. Renew your connection to yourself.

The true self, the Buddha nature, the Christ nature: it is willing to see all. And its love for all is diminished not one iota if others care about it or not.

Take a cue from the sun and moon. They make their light available to all at no cost, not whether they like you or not or if you paid your monthly subscription or not.

Can you find that space within where the heart is like that too? Even if it is just a small ember, guard it. Tend to it. This is what’s worthy of being cherished. It is a guide through the wasteland and darkness.

But it needs to be loved and nurtured. Its face is your face, and that of your best friend and worst enemy, too.

An enemy is an enemy because we’ve made him/her/it our enemy. Not otherwise.

Hostility within manifests as hostility without. So elementary isn’t it? Learn to see it for what it is.

And when you see, really see. Remove the perceptual filters.

Ask what is real. Want to know what is real. Be real. Ask yourself where are you not real, and you have a fine starting place to dig your shovel. Unearth it all, shovelful by shovelful. Patiently, for it is your own self you are unearthing, uncovering.

And when you get to difficult territory, don’t stop. Don’t turn away from difficult territory, for that is where the light is most needed. Most people stop at difficult territory because it shows them the untruth of their own ego ideal and they’d rather remain in the dream state, not wanting to see. Eventually it must come to an end. The pain of separation will become too great to bear. Why let it get to that point? It’s not necessary at all.

This is the message for tonight. Hope it helps you in your work. You are worth facing your unworthiness. How else can transformation take place? Stagnation is too much safe-zoning.


Epicenter Wellness is the practice of Justin Jaucian, focusing on preventive wellness through deeper awareness of self.

Any reproduction is ok, just get permission from the author first please. And if you make any money off it, donate a portion of it to a charitable cause. But be discerning.

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